How I got started
My name is Kaci, I'm a fertility coach and a professional member of RESOLVE. My journey towards fertility coaching has been a natural evolution in my life, a result of intense passion, a gift for uplifting and inspiring others, an affinity for serving women and a love for babies and family-building.
I have worked for many years with children, babies and families as a swim coach and have enjoyed watching my students grow beyond their own limitations to realize their potential. As I became older my love for babies and women grew and developed as I learned about my own cycle and experienced womanhood on my own terms. My interest in women's natural health and well being piqued when I attended the births of my sisters' children and I became a doula. I loved working with women 1 on 1 to help them prepare for birth and motherhood. The process was always inspirational and humbling. Couples invited me into their families, shared their fears, hopes and aspirations, and together we set the stage for their dreams to become realities. The process of conception, pregnancy, labor, birth and the postpartum period taught me a lot about how crucial it is for loving support and evidence-based information in these processes of life.
I was always interested in natural solutions to problems, so I had a reputation as the go-to healer in my family and friend circles. As my knowledge grew so did my circles. I was consulted for menstrual problems, pregnancy symptoms, and many other simple discomforts. I learned a lot by helping myself and those around me. I came up with tea recipes that worked for my sisters and I and brewed a huge vat of it each month before my cycle began. I made oil blends for children and and natural lotions for my pregnant friends. Gradually, as I began learning and sharing more I had more requests for help with conception. These were my sisters, friends, cousins and co-workers. Some who were trying to conceive with no luck, some with recurrent miscarriages, others with blocked Fallopian tubes or hormonal imbalances. While the symptoms were different the requests were the same: how can I get pregnant, naturally? What's going on?
Personal struggles & searching for support
At the same time my personal life was suffering because I was feeling extremely off-centered with my desire for a child. I was not in the place to have a child, as my partner was not ready, my schooling was not finished, and I was not financially stable. But my simple desire to be a mother that had been with me since I was a toddler was becoming an angry demand. I found myself depressed and overly consumed with the burning desire to be a mother. In my obsession I found little solace: working with children was no use, I was already doing that. Reason would not work for me, because this urge was beyond reason, it was a primal need (or so I felt), driven by something inside of me that was unconcerned with circumstance or trivial details.
After too many sessions of pouring out my desire to friends and family with little relief I ran to the internet. I spent innumerable hours scoring forums for answers: how can I calm this obsession with having a child before I lose myself? In the search I found two things that catapulted me to where I am today.
Finding answers & peace
The first was a girl who suggested I take all the extra energy I spent pining for a child and spend it focusing on improving my life for my future children. For me, this meant preparing for conception. I took all that nervous energy and researched endlessly on the best practices for preconception. I wanted to know what the best foods were, the most potent herbs, the most important exercises, the best balancing techniques, and how my cycle worked. I learned about the importance of preconception care and how it could prevent common pregnancy discomforts and complications. I learned about preconception in other places, where couples prepare up to a year before trying to conceive. I learned about natural ways to enhance fertility and which toxins I should avoid. I realized how delicate the process was and how easily it could be positively or negatively affected. I soaked up the information like a sponge and applied it to my own life. I did detoxes, stayed hydrated, quit using plastics, continued to focus on eating well, experimented with preconception teas, started doing yoga and began taking whole-food prenatal vitamins. I learned everything I could and practiced what I preached. I was my own guinea pig.
The second thing I learned from the forums is that the majority of the women I was learning from and connecting with were suffering with the same desire to reproduce, but with much different challenges. These ladies were dealing with medical issues, circumstantial issues, health issues and other barriers to conceive. I realized quickly that my experience was not as traumatic as theirs. While I was not ready to try because of my circumstances, they had been trying with no success. This shook me to the core and I felt connected to their issues because I had a shared desire to become a mother and it seemed cruel that after all the yearning and preparation some women do not conceive or carry to term. As I observed more and listened to their stories I found a similar pattern to my circles. While the specific stories and challenges were unique the overwhelming need was the same: to conceive by any means necessary and carry a baby to term.
Realizing my purpose
At that point I realized that helping women bring healthy babies into this world is my life purpose. As much as I enjoyed helping pregnant women experience the birth of their dreams, I decided I wanted to spend my time and energy helping women get pregnant in the first place. I combined the essence of my own interests and needs, the requests from my circles, the feedback I got from women struggling to conceive, my research skills and my passion for helping others, and got to work. I researched with a passion and a frenzy. This time I went not only through scholarly articles online but dozens of books. I read every book concerning infertility I could get my hands on, and then some. The topics ranged from couples talking about their own journeys to doctors' explanations of IVF to Traditional Chinese Medicine, egg and sperm health, to PCOS, endometriosis, immune related disorders, recurrent miscarriage and more. I didn't limit myself to fertility topics but looked back at what I had already learned and figured out how to apply it to preconception. I looked back at information I had learned about healing herbs, massage, essential oils, reflexology, nutritional healing and more. I spoke to local and national doctors, traditional healers, herbalists, acupuncturists, yoga teachers, religious leaders, psychologists specializing in trauma, reiki practitioners, chiropractors and more. I researched relationship building techniques and stress-relieving activities. I investigated spiritual healing, community-building, and traditional cultures' perspectives on preconception. Most importantly, I spoke with others who were struggling to conceive about what they needed most on their journey, and where the holes were in their treatment. When I finished my personal research, I completed Health Coach training with a focus on Fertility to learn how to apply my knowledge and learn more about how health and wellness affects our fertility.
I knew from experience and contact with others that struggling to conceive is depressing and life-altering. In my research I realized the resources on natural fertility balancing were sparse and fragmented. The internet is filled with claims that this one super-food will solve your problems or the latest trend in health circles will fix your body so you can have your baby. I knew that there was more to conception than just super-foods, just exercise, just stress relief, just this optimal sex position. While some of the advice was spot-on it was limited in scope because it did not consider conception from a holistic perspective. I knew that conception and pregnancy was about the whole woman, her whole lifestyle, and her whole relationship with herself and others. Looking at alternatives I found that standard medical treatment is extremely costly, emotionally draining, physically painful, invasive, lengthy, somewhat dis-empowering, and can strain even the strongest relationship. Add to this the fact that there are no guarantees that after all of your time, energy, money, stress and emotion you will bare a child: the hamster wheel of conception can keep spinning with no resolution. It came to me as no surprise that many women find themselves depressed and hopeless in their journey to motherhood.
The final products and what's to come
When I finished my personal research, I completed Health Coach training with a focus on Fertility to learn more about how health and wellness affects our fertility. Next I organized my information into easy to follow terms and step by step guides and began coaching women to help them through this difficult time. Similarly to the way I coached women through pregnancy and birth, I focus on the whole woman and her whole experience while TTC. I also perfected my tea recipes and packaged them for others.
In the meantime, I was blessed with my own child. I see his easy conception and smoothe, easy pregnancy as a direct result of practicing what I preach. Experiencing my fertility from conception to postpartum has taught me invaluable lessons about what we as women need to feel supported and cared for in this sacred part of life. Queen Bee Fertility is still growing. I envision a buzzing community of women empowered with their own self-healing abilities, supporting and lifting up one another. I envision a Queen Bee Fertility to be a source of guidance and peace for all stages of fertility, from the start of menstruation, to preconception, pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause.
This is my vision, this is my passion, this is where I devote my precious time and energy. Thank you for taking the time to learn more about me and I sincerely hope that if you are struggling to conceive you can find the support and resources you need here with Queen Bee Fertility.
With love and light,